When Leaders Rest
I’ve spent the last few days with one of the leaders I’ve been blessed to walk closely with over the last 2-3 years. Our goal was to jumpstart her year with some organizing, vision casting, and systems development. I watched in awe as she navigated the many “hats” she wears. From the wee hours of the morning until late at night.
There is always an email waiting to be to be read, written or answered and it’s as if her phone never stops buzzing. And , even when it’s clear to anyone in her physical presence, that she has reached the pinnacles of exhaustion, she still picks up the phone with a pleasant “hello” navigating the call with grace and normally a promise to respond in some way that will take more of the time and energy that is already far spent.
Last evening as I was taking her one of the tasks we had agreed upon on for her to do, I stepped into her room and saw that she had fallen asleep, sitting straight up, still in her professional clothing, with her phone in one hand and open laptop on her lap. I stood there for a moment and gave God thanks. I backed out of the room and decided to come back an hour or so later. When I returned, she was still sleeping. I could have awakened her to complete her list of tasks. Instead I tiptoed in, removed her computer from her lap, turned the light out in her room and returned to my own tasks for the evening. When I wrapped up an hour or so later, she was still sleeping. I mounted the stairs to my sleeping quarters and by the time I got there my heart was full and my eyes were spilling over. Here’s why.
This is No Phenomenon
Most people have an appreciation for good leadership or at least for the benefits we receive when good leaders are in place. This is true politically, corporately and of course in church settings. We understand that it takes competent and committed leaders to keep the world running and we have come to expect those leaders to be in place. Sometimes these leaders are paid well. Other times they are grossly underpaid. But almost always good leaders are overworked and under appreciated.
Studies show just how much committed leaders sacrifice for the organizations and people they serve. From finances to family to personal health and wellbeing…all of these things tend to go on the line.
I think that, in part, we know and see how unhealthy and unsustainable this is. Yet, because we are often unwilling or incapable of taking at least some ownership, we justify the continued demands we place on our leaders.
I think we need to begin to ask the question why.
My Gift and Grace
Years ago, I understood my calling clearly. Even before I acknowledged the call to preach, I knew I was called to walk closely with senior leaders. This has not meant that I’ve served every leader I’ve encountered. Some I’ve tried to work with and it didn’t work out. That’s ok. But , I’ve been blessed to walk closely with 6 over the course or my life and ministry. I’ve not worked with them all simultaneously and not all of these have been church leaders. Some I have only walked with for a season. One, in particular, was the President of an institution. He taught me much of what I know about administration, precision and communication. As a young teenage college student, he sent me into spaces with dignitaries and taught me how to conduct myself as if I belonged in the room and to learn the etiquette and culture of those spaces in real time without ever missing a beat.
He kept me close, never abusing his authority or my respect for him. Over more than a decade , I learned his every move to the point where I was able to anticipate the next one, sometimes before even he could. As a result, he trusted me, confided in me and came to know that his vision and work were safe with me… that he was safe with me. Sometimes when he would leave me working on a project, I’d look from my desk chair over to his and see that his head had dropped and he’d drifted off to sleep. My heart would always rejoice that he was resting, even if but for a moment.
He worked almost nonstop. He was a committed leader, and his commitment to leadership over self ultimately killed him. What I learned while walking closely with him still lives and has translated into my work with leaders over the years. I will forever be grateful.
Watching him work to his own detriment caused me to reevaluate my own role in the life of leaders I am called to serve and walk with. How could I be most supportive? What could I do to free their hands literally and figuratively? How could I help them to see and understand the importance of their own well-being, even as they worked tirelessly to meet the demands of those they served? How could I work to ensure that, at least in some small way, I could be a consistent and dependable place of support and safety for them?
These questions have guided my work as a armorbearer to my mother in ministry and as an assistant to others, over the years. They have been the reason why I have studied my craft, studied the ones I’ve worked with , responded to criticism, asked for correction and adjusted as needed. My heart’s desire has been to serve in a way that, in my presence and on my watch, they could sleep…rest… with both eyes closed.
And so last night, as I knew my time for this particular stay was coming to an end with this particular leader, I was questioning how effective my time there had been and trying to discern what could and needed to be done before my departure. To see her sleeping….resting…. ministered to me. It reminded me of why I do what I do. And it made me grateful for the gift and grace I have been blessed to possess.
Are you a leader? Do you serve other leaders? What are some of your thoughts about this? I hope you will share in the comments.